We packed our 500 square foot apartment into a 5x7 mini storage. Walking back into a cold empty apartment was the first realization that the move is only days away. Within 5 months we had the time of our lives and came to some hard truths about what its like to live in Manhattan which I will get to later. Saying I will see you soon to friends we made along the way has been a challenge to me, we met some very special people. We got very lucky in this adventure and together we our ready for our next. It's never a farewell but a see you soon to the faces and places that made Manhattan feel more like home.
At our going away party I remember walking into the pub and all of our friends lined the entire bar and that's when I knew of our impact within the short 5 months. I hardly scratched the surface of NYC and before I knew it I breathed and my experience was over.
I am now in the state that grew me and I truly forgot how beautifully peaceful it is here. There's a certain calmness that Minnesota gives me, perhaps its the lakes or maybe it's the pretty shades of summer. My mind was still in NYC but my body slowed down to the pace of Minnesota. There's a pride that comes from living here and that pride has never left me in fact its intensified since I left.
With London being right around the corner and my life in a constant travel mode I'm truly excited for this next chapter. Manhattan prepared me for my European adventure and soon this blog will turn into Breaking London and hopefully it will inspire you to adventure more, live with less restriction and to never loss your instinct while exploring new elements of your life's direction whether planned or not.
Keep you posted and thanks for supporting, coming soon Breaking London..
Friday, June 3, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
The MUST EATS in NYC..
As I have said before this is the food mecca. This review will appeal to every taste bud and its for every price range. If I had a dollar for every time I said "this is the best" I would surly be a millionaire. I have eaten my way through this city and when you come visit these are my recommendations. Although it may seem bias to the east side of Manhattan its only because this is where I lived and within it found that best eats. I have 2 rules when eating out, keep it reasonably healthy and keep it affordable.
Falafel at Tiam- The falafel will blow your mind. The best in the city as you will see a Halal truck on every corner. Don't be fooled this falafel will change your world. I'm drooling just thinking of it.
Brick Lane Curry House: Indian food hasn't always been my go to, until now. The flavors are something I crave and lets be honest some food is just boring, not Indian. Its complex, multi-layered and the Indian cuisine here will take your taste buds on a wild adventure.
Supper: I have a hard time with Italian as I have been ruined by Olive Garden and feel I can always make it better. Until Supper I was convinced that Italian was heavy and makes you feel like there's a rock in your belly. Supper is the perfect combination of perfect portions and fresh pasta. I take everyone who comes to town to Supper or their sister restaurant Little Frankies.
Terminal Thai: I love me some pad thai, it has layer of favor combination that flirt with your taste buds. Between their drunken noodles and spring rolls I always have such a hard time deciding what to get as I am rarely disappointed.
Greek Salad at Atlas Cafe: Ok so this place is more of a coffee shop then a restaurant but their Greek salad makes me order it at least once a week. Its a heavily mix of perfect crisp greens and a light vinaigrette with the juiciest tomatoes. Served with warm bread, this is not your typical boring salad. Plus they have great coffee, all around a winner to me.
Desert Trucks Bread Pudding: Yikes I wish this place wasn't a block away. Its a daily occurrence that I I try to convince myself that I don't need to go there, but yet I still find myself standing in the doorway puppy-eyed and drooling. Its the most delectable desert creations. Also featured on Bobby Flay's Throwdown and won, come on people its that good.
Pho sandwich from Sunny and Annie's Deli: I have ordered this a few too many times after 1 am but damn its good. Its spicy, zesty and loaded with flavor in each bite. Its hard to put down and although I usually order the 2011 but always find myself stealing bites from Greg's Pho sandwich.
Pho at Pho 32: This place is open 24 hours bless their hearts. Its a great combination of thai basil, a sweet broth and crunchy sprouts. My mother fell in love with this dish which isn't hard to do. My comfort food is a big bowl of soup and this is nothing shy of just that.
Veggie Burger at Kate's Joint: Wont taste like a veggie burger to you because it doesn't to me. Although I'm not a disciplined vegetarian I do prefer veggies over carcass. This burger comes California style, thick cut pickle, ripe tomatoes and crisp lettuce. Side of Kate's special sauce and you got yourself a pretty convincing burger.
Breakfast at Clinton Street Baking Company: This breakfast is so good it will wake your ass up before noon. If you can get in to this small place its well worth the wait. My only wish is that they buy the space next to it to make more room. It's small but the Egg's Benedict will make you order it every time and I hear their blueberry pancakes are pretty kick ass.
Fish tacos at Essex Market/Grocery Store: If you blinked you would miss this little stand. There's 2 people working the counter so don't expect fast service but what you will get is food made with love. The fish taco's are under 5.00 bucks and for the money you get a hefty portion of homemade love in a tortilla.
Pizza at L'asso: Pizza isn't something I crave but allow me to tell you that when this pizza comes out I have a hard time holding back and eating just 2 slices. I am a member of the clean plate club when I'm here, I eat more pizza then I care to inform you on and lets just say that you will have a food moment here. All time will stop and you will get snapped back to reality once you feel your waistband explode. Wear your big girl pants when dining here as you won't be able to stop at just one slice.
Smoothie at Pause Cafe: Its a build your own smoothie bar. Mango's, strawberries and blueberries oh my all the combinations are making me want to run down there right now and order one. Ok so there's nothing exciting or innovative about a smoothie you say but allow me to tell you that on a hot day there's nothing more refreshing.
Bisous Ciao Macaroons: My sister nearly had a desert meltdown when her lips locked passionately to these perfectly prepared gems. With disbelief and crumbs on her face she realized then that she likes no loves macaroons. "No I can't believe this," she said. Words of a wise woman go and you will be convinced too.
Momofuku Milk Bar: Chocolate Cookies. My boyfriend Greg who doesn't eat sweets ate 3 big cookies, need I say more?
Il Laboratorio Del Gelato: I clench the gelato cup for I have fear of dropping this delicious delectable desert. By far the best gelato I have ever had!
Lucky's Burger: Read my Yelp review, for someone who rarely eats red meat it received 4 out of 5 stars. Get the cheeseburger, YUM!
Dumplings at Prosperity Dumplings: These homemade dumplings are right across the street from us. They are not only cheap, I'm talking 8 dumplings for 2.00 cheap but they are fast. Perfect street food although messy.
Calexico Food Truck: Get the folded quesadilla served with their crack sauce (chipotle sour cream) it will surly become your go to street food. Stroll through Soho, quesadilla is hand and you got yourself a perfect little afternoon.
Donut at Donut Planet: So don't go here on a weekend morning, it will be as if you were waiting in line for a U2 concert. I don't eat many donuts but let me tell ya I ate one and could have easily eaten another one. Its as if Grandma is back there making a fresh batch of sugary goodness by the minute. Plus the smell of this place is truly intoxicating.
Rice to Riches: This place may sound odd but it's interesting how many rice pudding flavors they have created. You walk in and there's at least 25 different varieties of rice pudding plus you can add toppings. This was one of my mom's favorite.
Baohaus Sandwich: Again I love me some street food. These are Vietnamese soft bun sandwiches with braised meat, heavy cilantro and chopped peanuts. You can't get this tiny buddle of flavor just anywhere. If you want to awake your taste-buds come here.
Hampton Chutney Co: These next 2 reviews I cant take credit for because I haven't eaten there but Greg has. I believe Greg had some life changing moments here
Bowery Poetry Clubs Roast Beef sandwich: For 2 blocks while scarfing down this sandwich all I heard was pure satisfaction from Greg of course, that should sum it up.
Eataly: Fresh pasta, rare meats, imported cheeses, the finest espresso, perfected deserts and wine. Its like Italy moved to NYC. In fact the first Eataly is in Italy and then there's one here!
Chelsea Market: The Food Network is located upstairs to this market so I think they know a thing or 2 about food. I could spend hours here and once you go you will see why.
Zucco Le French Diner: This place has under 5 tables but try to belly-up at the bar. The food and the owner are nothing shy of witty charm. They even have a sign that says no ketchup, no budlight and no reservations which makes me love this place even more.
So of course I'm missing many amazing restaurants, this hardly scratches the surface but what I can tell you is that in 5 months of being here we did some damage. Although we still cooked at home we also enjoyed the many incredible restaurants Manhattan has to offer. The variety is endless and to me a great meal shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.
Damn I'm going to miss the food here..
Falafel at Tiam- The falafel will blow your mind. The best in the city as you will see a Halal truck on every corner. Don't be fooled this falafel will change your world. I'm drooling just thinking of it.
Brick Lane Curry House: Indian food hasn't always been my go to, until now. The flavors are something I crave and lets be honest some food is just boring, not Indian. Its complex, multi-layered and the Indian cuisine here will take your taste buds on a wild adventure.
Supper: I have a hard time with Italian as I have been ruined by Olive Garden and feel I can always make it better. Until Supper I was convinced that Italian was heavy and makes you feel like there's a rock in your belly. Supper is the perfect combination of perfect portions and fresh pasta. I take everyone who comes to town to Supper or their sister restaurant Little Frankies.
Terminal Thai: I love me some pad thai, it has layer of favor combination that flirt with your taste buds. Between their drunken noodles and spring rolls I always have such a hard time deciding what to get as I am rarely disappointed.
Greek Salad at Atlas Cafe: Ok so this place is more of a coffee shop then a restaurant but their Greek salad makes me order it at least once a week. Its a heavily mix of perfect crisp greens and a light vinaigrette with the juiciest tomatoes. Served with warm bread, this is not your typical boring salad. Plus they have great coffee, all around a winner to me.
Desert Trucks Bread Pudding: Yikes I wish this place wasn't a block away. Its a daily occurrence that I I try to convince myself that I don't need to go there, but yet I still find myself standing in the doorway puppy-eyed and drooling. Its the most delectable desert creations. Also featured on Bobby Flay's Throwdown and won, come on people its that good.
Pho sandwich from Sunny and Annie's Deli: I have ordered this a few too many times after 1 am but damn its good. Its spicy, zesty and loaded with flavor in each bite. Its hard to put down and although I usually order the 2011 but always find myself stealing bites from Greg's Pho sandwich.
Pho at Pho 32: This place is open 24 hours bless their hearts. Its a great combination of thai basil, a sweet broth and crunchy sprouts. My mother fell in love with this dish which isn't hard to do. My comfort food is a big bowl of soup and this is nothing shy of just that.
Veggie Burger at Kate's Joint: Wont taste like a veggie burger to you because it doesn't to me. Although I'm not a disciplined vegetarian I do prefer veggies over carcass. This burger comes California style, thick cut pickle, ripe tomatoes and crisp lettuce. Side of Kate's special sauce and you got yourself a pretty convincing burger.
Breakfast at Clinton Street Baking Company: This breakfast is so good it will wake your ass up before noon. If you can get in to this small place its well worth the wait. My only wish is that they buy the space next to it to make more room. It's small but the Egg's Benedict will make you order it every time and I hear their blueberry pancakes are pretty kick ass.
Fish tacos at Essex Market/Grocery Store: If you blinked you would miss this little stand. There's 2 people working the counter so don't expect fast service but what you will get is food made with love. The fish taco's are under 5.00 bucks and for the money you get a hefty portion of homemade love in a tortilla.
Pizza at L'asso: Pizza isn't something I crave but allow me to tell you that when this pizza comes out I have a hard time holding back and eating just 2 slices. I am a member of the clean plate club when I'm here, I eat more pizza then I care to inform you on and lets just say that you will have a food moment here. All time will stop and you will get snapped back to reality once you feel your waistband explode. Wear your big girl pants when dining here as you won't be able to stop at just one slice.
Smoothie at Pause Cafe: Its a build your own smoothie bar. Mango's, strawberries and blueberries oh my all the combinations are making me want to run down there right now and order one. Ok so there's nothing exciting or innovative about a smoothie you say but allow me to tell you that on a hot day there's nothing more refreshing.
Bisous Ciao Macaroons: My sister nearly had a desert meltdown when her lips locked passionately to these perfectly prepared gems. With disbelief and crumbs on her face she realized then that she likes no loves macaroons. "No I can't believe this," she said. Words of a wise woman go and you will be convinced too.
Momofuku Milk Bar: Chocolate Cookies. My boyfriend Greg who doesn't eat sweets ate 3 big cookies, need I say more?
Il Laboratorio Del Gelato: I clench the gelato cup for I have fear of dropping this delicious delectable desert. By far the best gelato I have ever had!
Lucky's Burger: Read my Yelp review, for someone who rarely eats red meat it received 4 out of 5 stars. Get the cheeseburger, YUM!
Dumplings at Prosperity Dumplings: These homemade dumplings are right across the street from us. They are not only cheap, I'm talking 8 dumplings for 2.00 cheap but they are fast. Perfect street food although messy.
Calexico Food Truck: Get the folded quesadilla served with their crack sauce (chipotle sour cream) it will surly become your go to street food. Stroll through Soho, quesadilla is hand and you got yourself a perfect little afternoon.
Donut at Donut Planet: So don't go here on a weekend morning, it will be as if you were waiting in line for a U2 concert. I don't eat many donuts but let me tell ya I ate one and could have easily eaten another one. Its as if Grandma is back there making a fresh batch of sugary goodness by the minute. Plus the smell of this place is truly intoxicating.
Rice to Riches: This place may sound odd but it's interesting how many rice pudding flavors they have created. You walk in and there's at least 25 different varieties of rice pudding plus you can add toppings. This was one of my mom's favorite.
Baohaus Sandwich: Again I love me some street food. These are Vietnamese soft bun sandwiches with braised meat, heavy cilantro and chopped peanuts. You can't get this tiny buddle of flavor just anywhere. If you want to awake your taste-buds come here.
Hampton Chutney Co: These next 2 reviews I cant take credit for because I haven't eaten there but Greg has. I believe Greg had some life changing moments here
Bowery Poetry Clubs Roast Beef sandwich: For 2 blocks while scarfing down this sandwich all I heard was pure satisfaction from Greg of course, that should sum it up.
Eataly: Fresh pasta, rare meats, imported cheeses, the finest espresso, perfected deserts and wine. Its like Italy moved to NYC. In fact the first Eataly is in Italy and then there's one here!
Chelsea Market: The Food Network is located upstairs to this market so I think they know a thing or 2 about food. I could spend hours here and once you go you will see why.
Zucco Le French Diner: This place has under 5 tables but try to belly-up at the bar. The food and the owner are nothing shy of witty charm. They even have a sign that says no ketchup, no budlight and no reservations which makes me love this place even more.
So of course I'm missing many amazing restaurants, this hardly scratches the surface but what I can tell you is that in 5 months of being here we did some damage. Although we still cooked at home we also enjoyed the many incredible restaurants Manhattan has to offer. The variety is endless and to me a great meal shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.
Damn I'm going to miss the food here..
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tour Guild through Manhattan
Even though I have lived in Manhattan for a brief 5 months I have turned into a tour guild which allows me to tell you about all the secret gems I have found. While visiting Manhattan one can become overwhelmed by the massiveness of concrete and sheer volume of places to visit. I have narrowed it down to the places I take the many visitors that have came and went. Before you die, Manhattan needs to be on your bucket-list although it's not for everyone you will find that there's something for everyone here in the greatest city in the world.
Soho (South of Houston Street): When on Broadway street you will notice the volume of people and the tallness of the buildings increase two-fold. Lined with familiar shops and some unfamiliar markets, Soho quickly will grab your last remaining dollars. Street vendors set up shop at every corner selling everything from hats to one of a kind jewels. Its not surprising that one would walk right into a movie shoot featuring Will Smith. This is the New York you see in movies with a sea of people heading towards you and tourist as far as the eye can see. I wouldn't dare go to Soho on a Saturday however on a Monday you will have better luck finding a dressing room or getting a touch of customer service.
By Soho there's a street called Prince and another called Spring: These streets got money honey. Lets start with Prince, maybe I'm partial to this street because that's where I saw my first celebrity. Wouldn't you like to know who, we'll get to that later. Little bakeries, coffeehouses, my favorite bookstore and designer boutiques I could never afford. I find myself walking along with puppy dog eyes at the newest fashion one of a kinds. I'm drooling at the sugary confections lined in a perfect row while neighbors sip espresso on benches by the cobblestone street. I love this street because it's a perfect combination of shops specializing in only purses and perfect restaurants offering top of the line cuisine.
Spring Street: The Kardashian sisters like this street too as their overpriced boutique can be found moments away from Soho. Little patios, small cafes and the best pizza in the city can be found here. These 2 streets run parallel to each other complimenting one another by the highest of standards. Someone would have to die to get an apartment here. Between the 2, I love them both.
Lower East Side specifically Clinton Street to Houston: Maybe I'm partial because I live on this street but in my opinion there's nothing like it. Atlas coffee shops truly feels as if your in Rome and most restaurants have less then 15 tables. There's a homemade dumpling restaurant and markets that are cheap, rare and remind me of Global Market. Clinton Street Baking Company gets the most attention and every time I tell someone where I live they instantly say "have you tried their blueberry pancakes?" and unfortunately I say no because on any given day there's a 2 hour wait. Its a kinda place where one can roll out of bed and call it fashion and where you can find the cheapest eats in the city. It's been my home for 5 months now and I can't imagine living anywhere else within Manhattan. My fire escape has become my favorite view of the city and made me realize that one doesn't need a T.V if you live here. Ludlow, Orchard, Essex and Rivington street, this is what made me fall in love with Manhattan.
The Parks (yes we have parks here): Washington Square, Union Square and of course Central Park.
It is a concrete jungle but thank god they were smart enough to build in parks. The sheer noise of this city can drive someone crazy so when you dip into one of these parks it somewhat feels like you've shut the city off if only for a moment. You can still hear the slight hum of the city by you but that melts away once you can sit on the grass and smell the pretty flowers. Mind you it wasn't like this for me when I moved here in the dead of winter but now I can appreciate the beauty within these parks. Grab a good read, iced coffee and a scone and one could spend hours wasting away in these man made wonders roasting in the sun.
Chinatown: The stench of the fish mongers will let you know when you have stumbled upon Chinatown. Canel Street will bring you into the heart of it all where English becomes second to Chinese. Some New York's will disagree but to me this is the cheapest place within the city. You can find 60 minute massages for 40.00 (happy ending not included) and if you can get past the smell of half-dead fish the produce isn't all that bad. You truly feel like you are in China itself and if your on a budget go here. Weirdest thing I saw was a giant bucket of bull frogs for 4.50 a pound or dried deer foot for a dollar which actually seems like a deal. Also allow me to remind you that the Chinese don't waste anything so keep that in mind if your in the market for say fish eyeballs or dried fish belly.
Some people avoid Chinatown but I say the more unfamiliar the better.
St.Marks Street: Again another concrete stretch I love. Its hard to sum this one up, I just like it. It's got good restaurants and I always go and eat Pho there. Its trendy (but then again what part of Manhattan isn't) and has a great vibe. I like people watching here because it's very eclectic. Its got a vibe that you will fall in love and its not an instant touristy spot.
On top of the Rockefeller: I just did this with my mother and it was truly breathtaking. It's perfectly placed so that you can walk around and see all sides of Manhattan. Plus your 67 floors up, with 3 levels and if you go in the morning you will avoid the dreadful lines.
The Food: This deserves an entirly different blog, coming soon.
Times Square at Night: Those who know me know I dislike Times Square, the very thought of it makes me want to throw up. The crowds, the lines its like a cluster fuck of people that all seem to be lost. However bringing people to see the light show for the first time makes me realizes how insensitive I am to their first Times Square experience. Its a spectacle of dancing lights, a marvel of man-made screens plastered on tall buildings. I suggest taking a giant hit of acid and stroll along the streets of Times Square (this is a joke as you would surly violently puke.) It's something to see if only once and in my case 8-10 times. I am over it but I see virgin Times Square observers truly light up like Times Square itself.
World Trade Center Memorial: The TV did you no justice. Once your eyes find the giant missing spot in the sky you will truly understand the weight of this disaster. It opens this fall and although most of it is closed off, between gaps in the construction you can catch a small glimpse of the destruction. Go and pay your respects, go and support the fellow Americans caught in the madness that is politics.
Battery Park: Way at the base of Manhattan is a well preserved park, this was where all the immigrants first settled. You can take multiple ferry's to other islands and as you walk along the waters edge. It's nothing that will blow your mind away but it's rich in history and beautiful once the sun starts setting.
Just Walk: Too often trips are so overly planned, Manhattan will plan you. You can walk and get lost for hours here, you will stumble into your own secret gems and I challenge you to allow Manhattan to take you on it's own journey. The misconception is that you will stumble into a unsafe place, get over that fear now this city is safe. Unless you are waving money in plain sight or acting like an idiot you will find that Manhattan is just as safe as if you were sitting in your backyard. Walking has become a simple joy for me and on any given day I walk about 50-80 blocks.
Eataly, Chelsea Market and all smaller foodie markets: This is the food mecca people thank god I walk or I would surly become a fat ass. Fresh pasta, the freshest fish and the rarest cuts of meat that will make a vegetarian contemplate being one. You can find the rarest imported goods, the highest quality produce and deserts that will make a diabetic cheat on their diet. Come here and eat your heart out, it's easy to do.
The High-Rise: Secret gem in the city offering a perfect view of the Hudson on the West side. Equipped with chairs feel free to take a nap on one of many lounge chairs built into this walkway. Locals will not like me for spilling this hidden secret but once you take the yellow elevator up to the highrise you will understand why this is a great spot within the city. Go and walk along the flowers and smell the spring in the air.
Go see a show, any show: Lights, Camera, Action and lots of it. Theater row offers anything for any cost, for any taste. The best of the best, the cream of the crop. Go and be blown away by the talent.
Surly I am forgetting some specucals but for the meantime this will fill at least 4 days of sightseeing. All these places I have taken my guests and each time they walk away loving Manhattan which is not hard to do.
Oh yes and the celebrity on Prince street was Jake Gyllenhaal.
Soho (South of Houston Street): When on Broadway street you will notice the volume of people and the tallness of the buildings increase two-fold. Lined with familiar shops and some unfamiliar markets, Soho quickly will grab your last remaining dollars. Street vendors set up shop at every corner selling everything from hats to one of a kind jewels. Its not surprising that one would walk right into a movie shoot featuring Will Smith. This is the New York you see in movies with a sea of people heading towards you and tourist as far as the eye can see. I wouldn't dare go to Soho on a Saturday however on a Monday you will have better luck finding a dressing room or getting a touch of customer service.
By Soho there's a street called Prince and another called Spring: These streets got money honey. Lets start with Prince, maybe I'm partial to this street because that's where I saw my first celebrity. Wouldn't you like to know who, we'll get to that later. Little bakeries, coffeehouses, my favorite bookstore and designer boutiques I could never afford. I find myself walking along with puppy dog eyes at the newest fashion one of a kinds. I'm drooling at the sugary confections lined in a perfect row while neighbors sip espresso on benches by the cobblestone street. I love this street because it's a perfect combination of shops specializing in only purses and perfect restaurants offering top of the line cuisine.
Spring Street: The Kardashian sisters like this street too as their overpriced boutique can be found moments away from Soho. Little patios, small cafes and the best pizza in the city can be found here. These 2 streets run parallel to each other complimenting one another by the highest of standards. Someone would have to die to get an apartment here. Between the 2, I love them both.
Lower East Side specifically Clinton Street to Houston: Maybe I'm partial because I live on this street but in my opinion there's nothing like it. Atlas coffee shops truly feels as if your in Rome and most restaurants have less then 15 tables. There's a homemade dumpling restaurant and markets that are cheap, rare and remind me of Global Market. Clinton Street Baking Company gets the most attention and every time I tell someone where I live they instantly say "have you tried their blueberry pancakes?" and unfortunately I say no because on any given day there's a 2 hour wait. Its a kinda place where one can roll out of bed and call it fashion and where you can find the cheapest eats in the city. It's been my home for 5 months now and I can't imagine living anywhere else within Manhattan. My fire escape has become my favorite view of the city and made me realize that one doesn't need a T.V if you live here. Ludlow, Orchard, Essex and Rivington street, this is what made me fall in love with Manhattan.
The Parks (yes we have parks here): Washington Square, Union Square and of course Central Park.
It is a concrete jungle but thank god they were smart enough to build in parks. The sheer noise of this city can drive someone crazy so when you dip into one of these parks it somewhat feels like you've shut the city off if only for a moment. You can still hear the slight hum of the city by you but that melts away once you can sit on the grass and smell the pretty flowers. Mind you it wasn't like this for me when I moved here in the dead of winter but now I can appreciate the beauty within these parks. Grab a good read, iced coffee and a scone and one could spend hours wasting away in these man made wonders roasting in the sun.
Chinatown: The stench of the fish mongers will let you know when you have stumbled upon Chinatown. Canel Street will bring you into the heart of it all where English becomes second to Chinese. Some New York's will disagree but to me this is the cheapest place within the city. You can find 60 minute massages for 40.00 (happy ending not included) and if you can get past the smell of half-dead fish the produce isn't all that bad. You truly feel like you are in China itself and if your on a budget go here. Weirdest thing I saw was a giant bucket of bull frogs for 4.50 a pound or dried deer foot for a dollar which actually seems like a deal. Also allow me to remind you that the Chinese don't waste anything so keep that in mind if your in the market for say fish eyeballs or dried fish belly.
Some people avoid Chinatown but I say the more unfamiliar the better.
St.Marks Street: Again another concrete stretch I love. Its hard to sum this one up, I just like it. It's got good restaurants and I always go and eat Pho there. Its trendy (but then again what part of Manhattan isn't) and has a great vibe. I like people watching here because it's very eclectic. Its got a vibe that you will fall in love and its not an instant touristy spot.
On top of the Rockefeller: I just did this with my mother and it was truly breathtaking. It's perfectly placed so that you can walk around and see all sides of Manhattan. Plus your 67 floors up, with 3 levels and if you go in the morning you will avoid the dreadful lines.
The Food: This deserves an entirly different blog, coming soon.
Times Square at Night: Those who know me know I dislike Times Square, the very thought of it makes me want to throw up. The crowds, the lines its like a cluster fuck of people that all seem to be lost. However bringing people to see the light show for the first time makes me realizes how insensitive I am to their first Times Square experience. Its a spectacle of dancing lights, a marvel of man-made screens plastered on tall buildings. I suggest taking a giant hit of acid and stroll along the streets of Times Square (this is a joke as you would surly violently puke.) It's something to see if only once and in my case 8-10 times. I am over it but I see virgin Times Square observers truly light up like Times Square itself.
World Trade Center Memorial: The TV did you no justice. Once your eyes find the giant missing spot in the sky you will truly understand the weight of this disaster. It opens this fall and although most of it is closed off, between gaps in the construction you can catch a small glimpse of the destruction. Go and pay your respects, go and support the fellow Americans caught in the madness that is politics.
Battery Park: Way at the base of Manhattan is a well preserved park, this was where all the immigrants first settled. You can take multiple ferry's to other islands and as you walk along the waters edge. It's nothing that will blow your mind away but it's rich in history and beautiful once the sun starts setting.
Just Walk: Too often trips are so overly planned, Manhattan will plan you. You can walk and get lost for hours here, you will stumble into your own secret gems and I challenge you to allow Manhattan to take you on it's own journey. The misconception is that you will stumble into a unsafe place, get over that fear now this city is safe. Unless you are waving money in plain sight or acting like an idiot you will find that Manhattan is just as safe as if you were sitting in your backyard. Walking has become a simple joy for me and on any given day I walk about 50-80 blocks.
Eataly, Chelsea Market and all smaller foodie markets: This is the food mecca people thank god I walk or I would surly become a fat ass. Fresh pasta, the freshest fish and the rarest cuts of meat that will make a vegetarian contemplate being one. You can find the rarest imported goods, the highest quality produce and deserts that will make a diabetic cheat on their diet. Come here and eat your heart out, it's easy to do.
The High-Rise: Secret gem in the city offering a perfect view of the Hudson on the West side. Equipped with chairs feel free to take a nap on one of many lounge chairs built into this walkway. Locals will not like me for spilling this hidden secret but once you take the yellow elevator up to the highrise you will understand why this is a great spot within the city. Go and walk along the flowers and smell the spring in the air.
Go see a show, any show: Lights, Camera, Action and lots of it. Theater row offers anything for any cost, for any taste. The best of the best, the cream of the crop. Go and be blown away by the talent.
Surly I am forgetting some specucals but for the meantime this will fill at least 4 days of sightseeing. All these places I have taken my guests and each time they walk away loving Manhattan which is not hard to do.
Oh yes and the celebrity on Prince street was Jake Gyllenhaal.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Am I Safe?
Do you feel safe in New York City? Is a common question I get asked. The truth is that I have never felt safer. With each neighborhood is surrounded by fellow spirits just trying to make sense of this accomplishment. And that's how I would describe Manhattan, the place I call home. With the skyscrapers as high as the eye can see and its streets pressed with history touching your toes its hard to not feel secure. Its the unfamiliarity of a new place, a change but once you stop making sense of it, all things seem to fall in place.
There's been just a few times I felt a change in the air, a heavnyness of insecurity where the thoughts "I shouldn't be here" sprung into mind. I live by the F train (a common subway for everyday New Yorkers) and I left the actual station on the wrong side. Sudddenly I went above gorund to a very quite New York. A little too quiet and I was a little too new to New York but I took notice. I understood one thing and that was that New York City was never quiet not only quiet but dark. Something swelled up in my throat and I felt my strut turn into a faster pace jog as if a fire was lite from under my shoe. I was alone. I finally felt alone. Never upon an island of 8 million had I felt this way, I knew I was in the wrong area. Nothing happened as a sprinted along but it was one of the times I felt unsafe or maybe it was the first time I had been alone. Needless to say, I was scared and my only thought was my mother getting a phone call that her baby girl in the Big City for the first time didn't make it home last night.
Here's a fun fact about New York, it's safe. Sure there's area's to avoid but you never feel alone and you always feel like there is just too many damn people everywhere. There's times when at any given moment you will have 50 people around you and then you will turn down a street and have 2. You gracefully shoulder rub oncoming civilian traffic that people never seem too far away.
So as I sit in my apartment alone (watching Glee and drink a glass (bottle) of wine) and ponder the question of safety, I without a doubt feel it here. I trust an inner instinct within myself that says I fight like a complete girl but could cut a bitch if need be. With familiarity brings security because with familiarity one recognizes where they are and in New York I rarely knew where I was. Not like I understand now being 5 months in. For now I am safe and always felt that way the moment I entered this amazing city.
There's been just a few times I felt a change in the air, a heavnyness of insecurity where the thoughts "I shouldn't be here" sprung into mind. I live by the F train (a common subway for everyday New Yorkers) and I left the actual station on the wrong side. Sudddenly I went above gorund to a very quite New York. A little too quiet and I was a little too new to New York but I took notice. I understood one thing and that was that New York City was never quiet not only quiet but dark. Something swelled up in my throat and I felt my strut turn into a faster pace jog as if a fire was lite from under my shoe. I was alone. I finally felt alone. Never upon an island of 8 million had I felt this way, I knew I was in the wrong area. Nothing happened as a sprinted along but it was one of the times I felt unsafe or maybe it was the first time I had been alone. Needless to say, I was scared and my only thought was my mother getting a phone call that her baby girl in the Big City for the first time didn't make it home last night.
Here's a fun fact about New York, it's safe. Sure there's area's to avoid but you never feel alone and you always feel like there is just too many damn people everywhere. There's times when at any given moment you will have 50 people around you and then you will turn down a street and have 2. You gracefully shoulder rub oncoming civilian traffic that people never seem too far away.
So as I sit in my apartment alone (watching Glee and drink a glass (bottle) of wine) and ponder the question of safety, I without a doubt feel it here. I trust an inner instinct within myself that says I fight like a complete girl but could cut a bitch if need be. With familiarity brings security because with familiarity one recognizes where they are and in New York I rarely knew where I was. Not like I understand now being 5 months in. For now I am safe and always felt that way the moment I entered this amazing city.
Friday, April 15, 2011
You Win New York, You Win.
So I have been told many things about New York. The one that sticks is that I came during one of the worst winters they have had. Which made me still like New York but I also found it to be kind of harsh, harder to learn, and kind of dirty. I destroyed many shoes, got lost in the freezing cold and felt exhausted on most days while trying to furnish an apartment. I wasn't completely sold on this New York thing, I wasn't completely against it but all I knew is that the winter was harsh until it happened. The weather turned and so did the city. It became alive in a way I didn't see before, in a way I didn't expect. We had our first over 70 degree day and then I understood New York, that's when the light went off.
That day I walked 7 hours. 30 of those blocks I walked with a complete stranger that I had a lovely conversation with. My feet didn't mind the blisters and for the first time I saw all the beauty this city holds. From the tall monstrous buildings surrounding me to the endless sea of people coming and going those of which I can now recognize as native or tourist. This city is not for the claustrophobic, in fact there are things that I still dislike sun or snow but I at least get it.
When its nice the city truly transforms but then again doesn't every place. Here it seems to slow people and it brings the bustling to a slower push. My fast jog of a walk turns into a less intensive stroll. You weave in and out of places you didn't realize were there and 60+ blocks seems close. The harsh of the grit is less invasive, the graffiti becomes art and the subways make you feel like a New Yorker. The air even smells fresher and the breeze you catch cools an extreme walker. I get it, I get it New York. I see why you steal the hearts of everyone who enter your massiveness. Yah yah yah, there's nothing like you, ok you win. That's the truest statement of my life, once I stopped fighting it I got it ( and with it came nicer weather). Winning.
I tasted summer and even though we are leaving I now understand why one would never leave. I understand why this is the greatest place for opportunity. New York will always have a piece of my heart, New York is a pretty special place to be.
That day I walked 7 hours. 30 of those blocks I walked with a complete stranger that I had a lovely conversation with. My feet didn't mind the blisters and for the first time I saw all the beauty this city holds. From the tall monstrous buildings surrounding me to the endless sea of people coming and going those of which I can now recognize as native or tourist. This city is not for the claustrophobic, in fact there are things that I still dislike sun or snow but I at least get it.
When its nice the city truly transforms but then again doesn't every place. Here it seems to slow people and it brings the bustling to a slower push. My fast jog of a walk turns into a less intensive stroll. You weave in and out of places you didn't realize were there and 60+ blocks seems close. The harsh of the grit is less invasive, the graffiti becomes art and the subways make you feel like a New Yorker. The air even smells fresher and the breeze you catch cools an extreme walker. I get it, I get it New York. I see why you steal the hearts of everyone who enter your massiveness. Yah yah yah, there's nothing like you, ok you win. That's the truest statement of my life, once I stopped fighting it I got it ( and with it came nicer weather). Winning.
I tasted summer and even though we are leaving I now understand why one would never leave. I understand why this is the greatest place for opportunity. New York will always have a piece of my heart, New York is a pretty special place to be.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Its Been 10 Years..
I remember seeing a hole missing within the many miles of skyscrapers (which is odd for Manhattan). A noticeable missing space. I remember feeling heavy and before I knew it I was there and for once I didn't need my map to tell me where I was. I looked to my right and there it was and my body was pulled to it. I became saddened and quiet which is a miracle all in itself. 9/11 became real and not a mess of horrible images splashed on the tube. I stood there 10 years later and finally felt the gravity of the situation.
The memorial opens this fall and I didn't intent to stumble upon it, I just happened to and in doing so I knew where I was. An untouched dusty church sits right along side the grave and buildings as tall as the eye can see surrounding this "place" (for lack of a better word). I can't really think of a word to describe it since it unleashes a weird unsettled feeling beyond what I've felt. There were also a lot of bodies that were never recovered and I feel compelled to say grave but I don't care for that either. It's also massive, bigger then your T.V lead you to believe.
It's something we all shared in, didn't we? I'm sad that we hear less about the war and even less about this missing spot in Manhattan. It's like a big pink elephant that everyone ignores because time has won the fight on terrorism. If you could see it, its something that will make what you saw on TV real. If you could feel the weight of this sight it would make all of your problems seem like insignificant specs of dusk. It's undeniable, it's perfectly symbolic of the damage we can do to ourselves without getting political.
Its been ten years and I would like to say that we all shared in this moment, a moment that may still affect you today. We all know someone fighting in the war, we all have our own story about what happened that day. Can you give one of your thoughts to those that lost their life that day and those that fight in the war still today? its been 10 years and we are still in it today.
The memorial opens this fall and I didn't intent to stumble upon it, I just happened to and in doing so I knew where I was. An untouched dusty church sits right along side the grave and buildings as tall as the eye can see surrounding this "place" (for lack of a better word). I can't really think of a word to describe it since it unleashes a weird unsettled feeling beyond what I've felt. There were also a lot of bodies that were never recovered and I feel compelled to say grave but I don't care for that either. It's also massive, bigger then your T.V lead you to believe.
It's something we all shared in, didn't we? I'm sad that we hear less about the war and even less about this missing spot in Manhattan. It's like a big pink elephant that everyone ignores because time has won the fight on terrorism. If you could see it, its something that will make what you saw on TV real. If you could feel the weight of this sight it would make all of your problems seem like insignificant specs of dusk. It's undeniable, it's perfectly symbolic of the damage we can do to ourselves without getting political.
Its been ten years and I would like to say that we all shared in this moment, a moment that may still affect you today. We all know someone fighting in the war, we all have our own story about what happened that day. Can you give one of your thoughts to those that lost their life that day and those that fight in the war still today? its been 10 years and we are still in it today.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Fashion, Drama and (ready Britt) Action..
One would notice the individuality that surrounds Manhattan depending on the area. We live in the LES (lower east side) that screams hipster, dark colors and an anything goes kind of apparel. It encourages messy hair and a rolled out of bed look. Walking in Soho and on 5th Avenue you will find a more pulled together look with a lot of fur and a sense of money. The fashion in Manhattan is cutting edge and on any corner little boutiques host one of a kind fashions at any price.
When you walk the streets no one person fits a conformity mold and one starts to notice that anything goes when it comes to fashion. You become more daring, you add more not less and if something speaks to you, you go for it. Black is the color trend and in cold weather states that seems to be the classic color of the season. When the weather turns less cruel so do New Yorkers. We smile a little more, we walk kinder and black gets a brief retirement. Its a play ground for the fashion forward or those on any budget. You can play dress up here from Lady Gaga to as white trash as say Brittney Spears post meltdown. You own it and therefore it looks trendy and it makes you stop and notice.
In Union Square I sat on a bench, people watching. This is easy to do here, and you could really do this for hours. Who needs to TV when the live entertainment value of New Yorkers is entertaining enough. A multicolored wig caught my eye. Not only the color but the height of this thing was impressive. A good ten pounds of fake colored fro, bouncing carelessly as big busts of wind failed to knock the glory off his head. Every color of the rainbow, a teased mess and he was damn proud that he had found it. He was wearing it today and no one could stop him, it would take a short door entrance to knock his prized locks off. Oh and the strut, that man STRUTTED like he was on a runway for Chanel.
And that my friends is New York City. No shame, no conformity and all individuality (with a dash of what some would say is crazy). You can get away with anything here except for urinating in public and fighting in bars. Even the homeless people here are all that and a bag of chips. Every one not only walks really fast here but they walk with purpose and with a strut (unless you are a tourist).
Here's my cheers to NYC. You go New York with your bad self. New york is like an Italian woman, it will cook you a nice meal but if you piss her off it will be quick to give you the middle finger. There's no place like it however I hear London is comparable.
When you walk the streets no one person fits a conformity mold and one starts to notice that anything goes when it comes to fashion. You become more daring, you add more not less and if something speaks to you, you go for it. Black is the color trend and in cold weather states that seems to be the classic color of the season. When the weather turns less cruel so do New Yorkers. We smile a little more, we walk kinder and black gets a brief retirement. Its a play ground for the fashion forward or those on any budget. You can play dress up here from Lady Gaga to as white trash as say Brittney Spears post meltdown. You own it and therefore it looks trendy and it makes you stop and notice.
In Union Square I sat on a bench, people watching. This is easy to do here, and you could really do this for hours. Who needs to TV when the live entertainment value of New Yorkers is entertaining enough. A multicolored wig caught my eye. Not only the color but the height of this thing was impressive. A good ten pounds of fake colored fro, bouncing carelessly as big busts of wind failed to knock the glory off his head. Every color of the rainbow, a teased mess and he was damn proud that he had found it. He was wearing it today and no one could stop him, it would take a short door entrance to knock his prized locks off. Oh and the strut, that man STRUTTED like he was on a runway for Chanel.
And that my friends is New York City. No shame, no conformity and all individuality (with a dash of what some would say is crazy). You can get away with anything here except for urinating in public and fighting in bars. Even the homeless people here are all that and a bag of chips. Every one not only walks really fast here but they walk with purpose and with a strut (unless you are a tourist).
Here's my cheers to NYC. You go New York with your bad self. New york is like an Italian woman, it will cook you a nice meal but if you piss her off it will be quick to give you the middle finger. There's no place like it however I hear London is comparable.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
London is Calling..
So it's official we are going to London, crossing the pond to another land I know nothing about. I fell in love with Manhattan and now we are crossing the pond. Although this has been in the works for a few months now, its official we move in 2 months. I am excited, scared and overwhelmed by paperwork but mostly I am thrilled by yet another adventure.
I'm now used to feeling unsettled, one would think I was committed to someone in the military. I feel strangely nomadic but ready yet again for change. Of all the lands unexplored, Europe had always sparked my most intense curiosity. I am so naive about Londen that I thought it was spelt with an e after being corrected that it was in fact an o. Its all pretty surreal, I don't think much about it although it will approach soon enough. It will be another challenge that we will do better the second time around. I have become pretty tame, less excited as I understand now what goes into it.
Never did I think we would have the backing of a coroporation behind us, never did I think that the foundation would strengthen between us. The fall is easier now, less doubt more structure between a fairly new couple. The missing comes and goes and if it wasn't for Skype the longing would be more prominent.
So we are crossing the pond right before I truly fell in love with this current city. New York will always be here as will Minnesota. We made lasting friends here even though it was brief, we ate through this city and got ourselves settled overtime. Its a bittersweet realization that there is no other place like Manhattan, that you can create anything you want here. It brings hope that I will go into London with the attitude Manhattan gave me. I may not have survived London if I didn't give myself to Manhattan first. Conquering here makes me understand that adaptability is the source to understanding another culture, another place and those "strangers" around me. I'm more open now, I fight change less and I'm ready for yet another adventure.
London here we come..
I'm now used to feeling unsettled, one would think I was committed to someone in the military. I feel strangely nomadic but ready yet again for change. Of all the lands unexplored, Europe had always sparked my most intense curiosity. I am so naive about Londen that I thought it was spelt with an e after being corrected that it was in fact an o. Its all pretty surreal, I don't think much about it although it will approach soon enough. It will be another challenge that we will do better the second time around. I have become pretty tame, less excited as I understand now what goes into it.
Never did I think we would have the backing of a coroporation behind us, never did I think that the foundation would strengthen between us. The fall is easier now, less doubt more structure between a fairly new couple. The missing comes and goes and if it wasn't for Skype the longing would be more prominent.
So we are crossing the pond right before I truly fell in love with this current city. New York will always be here as will Minnesota. We made lasting friends here even though it was brief, we ate through this city and got ourselves settled overtime. Its a bittersweet realization that there is no other place like Manhattan, that you can create anything you want here. It brings hope that I will go into London with the attitude Manhattan gave me. I may not have survived London if I didn't give myself to Manhattan first. Conquering here makes me understand that adaptability is the source to understanding another culture, another place and those "strangers" around me. I'm more open now, I fight change less and I'm ready for yet another adventure.
London here we come..
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Home
Its weird when you realize that you have a home away from home. Being my first adventure away from the nest, you wonder if you could ever recreate home. The truth is, you can't. There is nothing like it and you can create a chunk of it but there truly is no place like home. There's the familiarity of knowing every stop light and seeing faces from your past that makes you feel comfort, the comfort of knowing and predictability.
I stumbled into our place, hands full of grocery bags and cut flowers. I ran into the garbage waiting for my return at the door. I dropped everything, sat in the doorway and thought "I'm home or a chunk of a home we have created." I finally feel like I have my spot in this massive place called Manhattan and it hasn't eaten me alive, its been very kind to me. Its been over 2 months and meeting people hasn't been hard, figuring out this city came with time and my relationship keeps getting better.
Although my new home finally fell into place, my heart continues to call for familiarity mostly when the apartment is empty and my beloved faces are simple fond slide shows in my brain. With all of them having a very special relationship with me, some have changed others continue to thrive. Some didn't understand playing off their own insecurities that may have surfaced within this change. Others knew I was suffocating in Minnesota, not that I didn't love it there but I needed a new environment so that I can create. I wish those relationships knew how easy it was to get back to square one with me. I just want everyone to be happy and supportive as I would do the same for them (you know who you are).
Don't you ever feel uninspired? and that sometimes with change brings inspired thought, brings room for more thought? Takes you from the same routine and thrusts you into something unknown, where a way is for you to create. This is what I love and what made me jump into this decision.
For right now I have found my home away from home and I can say for right now, I am okay. Better then okay, better then I have been awhile. My home will always be there and trust me there is nothing better although I have found the next best thing.
I stumbled into our place, hands full of grocery bags and cut flowers. I ran into the garbage waiting for my return at the door. I dropped everything, sat in the doorway and thought "I'm home or a chunk of a home we have created." I finally feel like I have my spot in this massive place called Manhattan and it hasn't eaten me alive, its been very kind to me. Its been over 2 months and meeting people hasn't been hard, figuring out this city came with time and my relationship keeps getting better.
Although my new home finally fell into place, my heart continues to call for familiarity mostly when the apartment is empty and my beloved faces are simple fond slide shows in my brain. With all of them having a very special relationship with me, some have changed others continue to thrive. Some didn't understand playing off their own insecurities that may have surfaced within this change. Others knew I was suffocating in Minnesota, not that I didn't love it there but I needed a new environment so that I can create. I wish those relationships knew how easy it was to get back to square one with me. I just want everyone to be happy and supportive as I would do the same for them (you know who you are).
Don't you ever feel uninspired? and that sometimes with change brings inspired thought, brings room for more thought? Takes you from the same routine and thrusts you into something unknown, where a way is for you to create. This is what I love and what made me jump into this decision.
For right now I have found my home away from home and I can say for right now, I am okay. Better then okay, better then I have been awhile. My home will always be there and trust me there is nothing better although I have found the next best thing.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Remember When We Were Kids? (plus a few questions about your current condition)
Light, curious, easy and mold-able. Bright sponges of adventure with little self awareness and almost no knowledge of whats outside their door step. Carefree without caution their protectors are never too far away. They find fulfillment in the small things and their eyes become light beacons as everything is new. The joy of children and the lightness they bring to an overwhelmed adult life and their timeless energy I wish I could bottle. Watching them grow is half the realization that I was once small, that I once didn't care to know any better. I had dirt on my face and sunburned skin. I was wildly dramatic and insanely adventurous often bringing mud pies as peace offerings to a mother that didn't understand why I would pick all of her prized flowers. I once was one of them and if I could keep them small forever I would.
We were all kids and then we grew up.
The point of this all is that I feel as if I have left a few key elements out of the equation. You have been a loyal reader and may have some questions as to why I am on the east coast and why in less then 1 year my life is very much different.
This year I turned 25 and something happened within myself, I finally felt like I was an adult. Now technically speaking by law we are an adult at 18, but the realization of it all hit this year. I can't fuck around anymore, I have to start figuring out what the hell I'm doing before a mindless job sucks me in forever. I don't know about you but we aren't 21 and from the time we were 18, you and I have grown so much. Whether or not your aware of your change and progress, its happened and is happening right now. You are never at a stand still and each day you awake and can change your direction now. Within five minutes you can as I did months ago when I realized I was an adult now. I'm not one to get all emotional and mushy on your ass but allow me to give you a healthy pill that won't erase your memory. Its a small dose of yourself that I believe you can handle.
There's a few questions I would like to ask you, that I asked myself. You may not like the answers but within yourself lies the true direction. If you have no idea what hell I'm talking about then you need to start having a well overdue checkup with yourself. Grab a mirror, a bottle of wine (or vodka) box of Kleenex, light a candle and for god sakes start asking some important questions about your adult self.
1. Are you happy?
2. Do you remember what you ate for breakfast yesterday?
3. Are your current relationships with friends and family healthy and functional?
4. Does your job bring you fulfillment/ are you doing what you love?
5. Do you have many secrets that you feel you can't tell anyone about?
6. Are you in control of your thoughts? or does your mind often wonder?
7. Do you have close relationships? Can you easily create new ones?
8. Whats makes you happy?
9. When was the last time you were truly happy and calm?
The answers weren't ideal for me and perhaps they are better for you. The point of it all is that it's hard to change if you don't recognize a clear problem or if you don's realize your progression. We will stay in crazy relationships, stay friends with people whom take advantage of you and stay put in a job for the paycheck. I had to start asking the hard questions and the truth isn't all that saved me.
Someone very special arrived out of nowhere. His kindness came into my life and lifted me at a time I felt consumed by myself. The truth laid heavy as huge reminds that my current affairs weren't working. He took me in and held me through my deceptive stature. I am not one to admit this, a weakness is not a shade I wear. He became the key to me finding more and he opened doors where I only saw windows. For his timing I am forever grateful and for his love I am forever committed.
The truth is that when you deal with what you don't want it becomes easier to figure out what it is you do want. Failing relationship, always wanting more, settling and emotional outbursts just to name a few. Pleasant reminders that maybe your not in the right direction and the flood gates open for fear and anxiety and that's what started my journey. I'm not one to welcome that into my life, I'm not ok with the sit still and I wished for luck and luck I received. I don't know if this hits every 25 year old but something happened and for it I am grateful. It catches like the flu and you become lost in your current situation which is only a result of decisions made prior. If its not what you dreamed of, dream harder.
So we aren't kids anymore but we can create more now then ever before. We can still catch the energy of the children around us. We are never too old for mud pies and who said building forts aren't for adults. I am excited for this new adventure and within my spirit I always remember myself as a carefree child bright-eyed ready to explore and create.
We were all kids and then we grew up.
The point of this all is that I feel as if I have left a few key elements out of the equation. You have been a loyal reader and may have some questions as to why I am on the east coast and why in less then 1 year my life is very much different.
This year I turned 25 and something happened within myself, I finally felt like I was an adult. Now technically speaking by law we are an adult at 18, but the realization of it all hit this year. I can't fuck around anymore, I have to start figuring out what the hell I'm doing before a mindless job sucks me in forever. I don't know about you but we aren't 21 and from the time we were 18, you and I have grown so much. Whether or not your aware of your change and progress, its happened and is happening right now. You are never at a stand still and each day you awake and can change your direction now. Within five minutes you can as I did months ago when I realized I was an adult now. I'm not one to get all emotional and mushy on your ass but allow me to give you a healthy pill that won't erase your memory. Its a small dose of yourself that I believe you can handle.
There's a few questions I would like to ask you, that I asked myself. You may not like the answers but within yourself lies the true direction. If you have no idea what hell I'm talking about then you need to start having a well overdue checkup with yourself. Grab a mirror, a bottle of wine (or vodka) box of Kleenex, light a candle and for god sakes start asking some important questions about your adult self.
1. Are you happy?
2. Do you remember what you ate for breakfast yesterday?
3. Are your current relationships with friends and family healthy and functional?
4. Does your job bring you fulfillment/ are you doing what you love?
5. Do you have many secrets that you feel you can't tell anyone about?
6. Are you in control of your thoughts? or does your mind often wonder?
7. Do you have close relationships? Can you easily create new ones?
8. Whats makes you happy?
9. When was the last time you were truly happy and calm?
The answers weren't ideal for me and perhaps they are better for you. The point of it all is that it's hard to change if you don't recognize a clear problem or if you don's realize your progression. We will stay in crazy relationships, stay friends with people whom take advantage of you and stay put in a job for the paycheck. I had to start asking the hard questions and the truth isn't all that saved me.
Someone very special arrived out of nowhere. His kindness came into my life and lifted me at a time I felt consumed by myself. The truth laid heavy as huge reminds that my current affairs weren't working. He took me in and held me through my deceptive stature. I am not one to admit this, a weakness is not a shade I wear. He became the key to me finding more and he opened doors where I only saw windows. For his timing I am forever grateful and for his love I am forever committed.
The truth is that when you deal with what you don't want it becomes easier to figure out what it is you do want. Failing relationship, always wanting more, settling and emotional outbursts just to name a few. Pleasant reminders that maybe your not in the right direction and the flood gates open for fear and anxiety and that's what started my journey. I'm not one to welcome that into my life, I'm not ok with the sit still and I wished for luck and luck I received. I don't know if this hits every 25 year old but something happened and for it I am grateful. It catches like the flu and you become lost in your current situation which is only a result of decisions made prior. If its not what you dreamed of, dream harder.
So we aren't kids anymore but we can create more now then ever before. We can still catch the energy of the children around us. We are never too old for mud pies and who said building forts aren't for adults. I am excited for this new adventure and within my spirit I always remember myself as a carefree child bright-eyed ready to explore and create.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Could You be Lost?
I awake late morning, raise slowly to put the tea pot on. The city is already bustling with fast walkers and negligent cab drivers. The smell of freshly melted snow swirls magically through the air. I already pissed a few hours of the morning away but one can easily make up for that. Walking down steep stairs through a high metal door the morning sun welcomes my face kissing it lightly with well needed vitamin D. The sunbeams have been dancing longer then one realizes and as you walk out from where you call home you get it. The more you walk the more you realize how massive the streets expand like arms wrapping you up only to let you go. The ever expanding pavement seem like it never ends and in some regard they don't. The beginning possibility of a new life for the newest members of our society started here to created here. Either made it or didn't. Became, existed, conquered, fell but mostly wanted more. You can't not feel the pulse, you can't avoid the feeling of age. Its everywhere and every year new people come in hopes of success and a new life. This island was built on the American dream, the American way. Its the physical reality of the human spirit, its Manhattan.
Now that I'm not scared shit-less to get lost, I travel blindly and kinda like it. Most of us hate the feeling of being lost, its a vulnerability and a realization that we lost our direction. A direction we are used to "planning." As if you will be lost forever, as if the direction won't find you. Don't loss faith in your natural ability to find and explore. Do you think Columbus knew where he was at all times? He didn't have GPS and all this crazy technology to think for him, he trusted instinct. At one time we also didn't see the earth as round so he had added fear of falling off the edge.
The first week I fought with this feeling, I hated not knowing where I was in the massiveness of concrete and brick. I got bored with always knowing but then got so uncomfortable with not knowing. The best part of home is knowing where everything is. The best part of change is finding things you didn't know existed. Is it a need or want to always know? What happens if we didn't and we just walked and got lost? Would you explode? Would you be afraid? My hesitation to turn off the beaten path became a journey and then turned into a adventure, like the kind I used to have when I was little. I see faces I would have never seen, I find new hidden streets with names I can't remember.
Where I once hated being lost, there's more I have found in doing so. I'm ok, and so are you. You will always be found wherever you are because you can't fall off the edge. We all like the comfort of home but make sure this doesn't debilitate your imagination to get off on an unbeaten path.
So lets get lost together.
Now that I'm not scared shit-less to get lost, I travel blindly and kinda like it. Most of us hate the feeling of being lost, its a vulnerability and a realization that we lost our direction. A direction we are used to "planning." As if you will be lost forever, as if the direction won't find you. Don't loss faith in your natural ability to find and explore. Do you think Columbus knew where he was at all times? He didn't have GPS and all this crazy technology to think for him, he trusted instinct. At one time we also didn't see the earth as round so he had added fear of falling off the edge.
The first week I fought with this feeling, I hated not knowing where I was in the massiveness of concrete and brick. I got bored with always knowing but then got so uncomfortable with not knowing. The best part of home is knowing where everything is. The best part of change is finding things you didn't know existed. Is it a need or want to always know? What happens if we didn't and we just walked and got lost? Would you explode? Would you be afraid? My hesitation to turn off the beaten path became a journey and then turned into a adventure, like the kind I used to have when I was little. I see faces I would have never seen, I find new hidden streets with names I can't remember.
Where I once hated being lost, there's more I have found in doing so. I'm ok, and so are you. You will always be found wherever you are because you can't fall off the edge. We all like the comfort of home but make sure this doesn't debilitate your imagination to get off on an unbeaten path.
So lets get lost together.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Will You Start Now? My Friend.
We all have a breaking point, a place where we come to and say "this isn't me." We are resilient, as we will pretend for as long as we can get away with it. Where our imagination has dissipated overtime from older age, our inner actor comes through and we act our asses of. The problem with this is that we become the actress and forfit who we really are. Its an exhausing process, it shakes and wakes your inner core to start listening.
"Danielle, you have to start listening to yourself."
This quote scared me and saved me all at the same time. It crushed the inner pretender. Its like when you watch people that keep playing with fire time after time. A drug addict that scores more blow, a husband that stays married, but cheats. A homeless person begging for money on the same corner day in and day out. We become comfortable with the pretending, and we watch the pretend everyday. Is it supposed to be this way? I think not, but comfort is a is a beautiful mask and not knowing any better is a chronic illness of the imagination.
I was given a chance and someone took a risk on me. My pride took a hit and and in a meeting with my manger at this famous restaurant with this fabulous chef, told me to start listening. My heart wasn't here, I hardly was. It wasn't me, and that's hard to admit as part of me once believed it was and secretly I enjoyed the challenge.
When you start listening it becomes pretty clear what needs to happen, getting quiet through the noise is the hard part. Call it what it is, a horse isn't a cow a cow isn't a horse. There's more to this life then being someone your not. I had to redefine me and what is was I wanted.
I have been chasing a stage my whole life and I'm tried of not having it. I'm tired of taking jobs I hate, I'm tired of pretending. Aren't you? Aren't we all? I don't like watching it and I don't like being it. This whole little game isn't going to last forever, you know.
Hey you, will you start listening to yourself, today like right now. It starts now and it starts with you, right now my friend.
And the answer appeared and I wasn't pretending and it felt damn good because it was me, now its you're turn.
"Danielle, you have to start listening to yourself."
This quote scared me and saved me all at the same time. It crushed the inner pretender. Its like when you watch people that keep playing with fire time after time. A drug addict that scores more blow, a husband that stays married, but cheats. A homeless person begging for money on the same corner day in and day out. We become comfortable with the pretending, and we watch the pretend everyday. Is it supposed to be this way? I think not, but comfort is a is a beautiful mask and not knowing any better is a chronic illness of the imagination.
I was given a chance and someone took a risk on me. My pride took a hit and and in a meeting with my manger at this famous restaurant with this fabulous chef, told me to start listening. My heart wasn't here, I hardly was. It wasn't me, and that's hard to admit as part of me once believed it was and secretly I enjoyed the challenge.
When you start listening it becomes pretty clear what needs to happen, getting quiet through the noise is the hard part. Call it what it is, a horse isn't a cow a cow isn't a horse. There's more to this life then being someone your not. I had to redefine me and what is was I wanted.
I have been chasing a stage my whole life and I'm tried of not having it. I'm tired of taking jobs I hate, I'm tired of pretending. Aren't you? Aren't we all? I don't like watching it and I don't like being it. This whole little game isn't going to last forever, you know.
Hey you, will you start listening to yourself, today like right now. It starts now and it starts with you, right now my friend.
And the answer appeared and I wasn't pretending and it felt damn good because it was me, now its you're turn.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Are you "The Shit?"
I have walked into a lions den now 3 days in a row. Slowly I have tiptoed around a sleeping bear for him to always wake up. I am new and trust me I must reek of new because it is apparently bait for a hungry bear. I'm watching secrets of his success and trust me he doesn't release these secrets without a good kick to the ass every five or so minutes. Sweaty by design, I'm almost sure I'm a dripping puddle by the time he's done with me and for 3 days straight I have faked going to the bathroom to hide my tears. These people are business, they mean business and they are going to break you down long before you actually get the job. The simple fact is that in order to work for someone famous you best believe you are "the shit." They run a well lubed machine, day in and day out and someone has to die or leave to get a coveted position there. Someone didn't die at this place, they got pushed down the stairs in the heat of service from a bitter co-worker. That was a lie, she got deported. I walked in and through the means of great timing, got the job. THE job, like the job people never get but I got. Why me? (you ask silently as if I can't hear you) because I apparently come off as being "the shit," however deep down I was always meant to be an actress.
He's the captain but his shipmates are even worse. They crowd around you flooding you so full of ways to do things that by the end of it my head feels like a drum. They are honest they smell my shit and call it shit. I like them and they like me however we have been fighting over this for the past 3 days. Is she qualified? Can she do it? "Looks like we are starting from the basic's with you, " direct quote from my beloved shipmate. He's the small bear who's bite is much worse then his bark, I'll show him.
There comes a point where I ask, how much is too much? I'm all for learning things but I have to ask when is constructive criticism is all you get for 8 hours, when do you know if and when you're doing things right? Even when I think I'm right some asshole from left field will say nope, wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I feel like I'm 2 again and all you hear is NO NO NO NO, newbie! (minus the newbie part but it's kind of relevant). They do this to everyone I hear, I am no different. Most wouldn't talk to me as they had bets I wouldn't last the first day. I have lasted 3.
There will be a follow up to this, I'm in "the shit" storm right now. I'm a sailboat without a paddle, salt that's always missing the pepper, a pb&j without bread. I'm butter without Paula Dean, a nun without her chastity belt, a porn star without a mustache.
I, I, I..(tears roll gently down blushed cheeks, snot is now visible, long hyperventilating gasps become louder and more pronounced, makeup now resembling Carrot Top lookalike with a slight resemblance to Joan Rivers) am being tested and need to prove that I am in fact, without a doubt "the shit."
He's the captain but his shipmates are even worse. They crowd around you flooding you so full of ways to do things that by the end of it my head feels like a drum. They are honest they smell my shit and call it shit. I like them and they like me however we have been fighting over this for the past 3 days. Is she qualified? Can she do it? "Looks like we are starting from the basic's with you, " direct quote from my beloved shipmate. He's the small bear who's bite is much worse then his bark, I'll show him.
There comes a point where I ask, how much is too much? I'm all for learning things but I have to ask when is constructive criticism is all you get for 8 hours, when do you know if and when you're doing things right? Even when I think I'm right some asshole from left field will say nope, wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I feel like I'm 2 again and all you hear is NO NO NO NO, newbie! (minus the newbie part but it's kind of relevant). They do this to everyone I hear, I am no different. Most wouldn't talk to me as they had bets I wouldn't last the first day. I have lasted 3.
There will be a follow up to this, I'm in "the shit" storm right now. I'm a sailboat without a paddle, salt that's always missing the pepper, a pb&j without bread. I'm butter without Paula Dean, a nun without her chastity belt, a porn star without a mustache.
I, I, I..(tears roll gently down blushed cheeks, snot is now visible, long hyperventilating gasps become louder and more pronounced, makeup now resembling Carrot Top lookalike with a slight resemblance to Joan Rivers) am being tested and need to prove that I am in fact, without a doubt "the shit."
Monday, January 31, 2011
Riding on the Train of Xenophobia.
Subways are weird. Its the one place where you can find every ethnicity, every type of individual and any economic class all piled into one moving missile. We load in, load out, go underground to get further along above ground. A perfectly oiled confusing machine that reeks of old age and begs you to join in on the fun, until you get on the wrong train. The perfect high pitch screech of worn metal summons the return of the train taking you stop by stop to your closest cross street. Fallen garbage, old souvenirs from lazy travelers line the steal beams carrying the trains in every which direction. You keep to yourself, you pretend you know where your going and you pray the you're not on an express train that doesn't stop till your off the island.
We all share one thing on the subway, we avoid each other like the plague. Heaven forbid you'd make eye contact with the person on the other side of you or even worst have to share the bench with someone. Connecting with a smile is as easy as flying a kite without wind. Talking with someone isn't ideal however if you hold up your trusty Manhattan map (I have 2) they all come flocking as if I was a piece of bread and they were a seagull. Its easy to get lost however its even easier finding your way. New Yorkers take pride in their home, and understand the feeling of momentary not knowing where the hell you are.
The first time I took the subway, I remember thinking that it was so weird. We all know we are physically by each other but we all can't find one thing in common. We can't even talk, we hardly even look at each other. Its like we are in a bad marriage where someone has cheated and now there's way to much resentment that grudges have been built and I'm not budging till you start talking, Mr. Do we really believe that we are all that different. We share 10 minutes with strangers (scary). What is this? I noticed it and all I could think of is how big of an asset we all could be to each other if we started first by breaking down some preconceived notions and started talking (heaven forbid, and the crowd gasps).
See its always a few bad apples that ruin the whole bunch. I enjoy connecting with people and am not really afraid to do so. In fact every time I do, I run into someone who is from Minnesota (go figure). Its trusting your judgment and gut feeling until someone proves that they don't deserve you're trust. You are completely capable of this and have had this ability every since you were putting crayons in your mouth. I challenge you to drop some walls and talk to someone different. Keeping to yourself is no way to be in this beautiful life.
We are all human and that's something we share and it starts with a smile and the ability to be fearless.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Between an Irish, a Jew, a French Man and a Hard Place..(this is going to be hard to swallow.)
You never know who you will end up talking politics with. The brilliance of this country was built on immigration and the melting pot idealism, as some like to call a "tossed salad." I sat between equals I didn't linguistically comprehend, but related to on one common ground with one common understanding;
Things are fu^%ed up here, No?
Now don't get your panties in a bunch when I say certain things that will infect your mind with thought. Please allow yourself to start the questioning process as I started years back, however at first you will stand alone which is the hardest part of all. Know that knowledge is power and that a single voice truly is the start.
First I'm not going to get all political on your ass and start spitting out shit you probably wont give 2 camel toes about (yes I said 2 camel toes) because it threatens your calm life existence. I sat with 4 people including myself and had a conversation without fear, anger, and animosity. We talked everything politics from food culture in America to Congress. From different back rounds we saw each other as people creating peace, not as indivduals disturbing it.
When one breaks it down it really becomes black and white. The Food Industry, The War that we have been in now for 10 years and also Pharmaceuticals among other issues. Theres a question of right and wrong without gray as they make it seem. When research is done things seem very easy and it starts with you and more imprtantly it is given to our future children to deal with. If you dont become passionate about somethoing NOW it will be put into others hands that only need support.
I can't talk about these specific issues as I feel I will be the whistle-blower, the downer, the instigator. I had a peace conference with individuals that actually all see eye to eye. How important is that more then ever, because its needed as most news is hidden from you. Why is that? At least we know what Jen wore to the Oscars, because that matters.
Oh man..(insert breather) will your heart start to bounce, anxiety will flood and heaven forbid you sweat. Thank god, then you are still ALIVE. Allow yourself to start to question, never think you know everything and don't hand it over for someone else to deal with because these are YOUR current issues that in fact affect you.
"Disturbing the peace is something of a hard thing, No? In America is different, its hard you just live while others fight for the rights of policies and things, I am just for peace."
-Anonymous French man (Greko:-)
Do you not feel it? Or have you become so overwhelmed by your current situation that another issue is too much to handle? Starting is the hardest part, please understand that. Its not easy starting the conversation and keeping up with it even harder.
Pick one thing, for me its food. I love me some food as the day is long. It feeds us, nourishes us and is us as a culture. Can you not see that tomatoes only look real and taste real when its warm out and an apple is now as big as a grapefruit so then they now can charge you more by pound. Your smarter then that to be fooled. When you mess with the beauty of nature it will bite back and that is truth. Calm your mind enough to know the true answer instead of grab grab grab.
In a village in Manhattan we talked, we drank, we debated and the common truth was that something is off. The French man with his long black lashes sat calm and observed, the Jewish Manhattan native passionately explained the real events of 9-11 and the Irish woman debated back fiercely and then there was me. It lite a fire in me (yet again) because if I don't start the conversation, will you?
Things are fu^%ed up here, No?
Now don't get your panties in a bunch when I say certain things that will infect your mind with thought. Please allow yourself to start the questioning process as I started years back, however at first you will stand alone which is the hardest part of all. Know that knowledge is power and that a single voice truly is the start.
First I'm not going to get all political on your ass and start spitting out shit you probably wont give 2 camel toes about (yes I said 2 camel toes) because it threatens your calm life existence. I sat with 4 people including myself and had a conversation without fear, anger, and animosity. We talked everything politics from food culture in America to Congress. From different back rounds we saw each other as people creating peace, not as indivduals disturbing it.
When one breaks it down it really becomes black and white. The Food Industry, The War that we have been in now for 10 years and also Pharmaceuticals among other issues. Theres a question of right and wrong without gray as they make it seem. When research is done things seem very easy and it starts with you and more imprtantly it is given to our future children to deal with. If you dont become passionate about somethoing NOW it will be put into others hands that only need support.
I can't talk about these specific issues as I feel I will be the whistle-blower, the downer, the instigator. I had a peace conference with individuals that actually all see eye to eye. How important is that more then ever, because its needed as most news is hidden from you. Why is that? At least we know what Jen wore to the Oscars, because that matters.
Oh man..(insert breather) will your heart start to bounce, anxiety will flood and heaven forbid you sweat. Thank god, then you are still ALIVE. Allow yourself to start to question, never think you know everything and don't hand it over for someone else to deal with because these are YOUR current issues that in fact affect you.
"Disturbing the peace is something of a hard thing, No? In America is different, its hard you just live while others fight for the rights of policies and things, I am just for peace."
-Anonymous French man (Greko:-)
Do you not feel it? Or have you become so overwhelmed by your current situation that another issue is too much to handle? Starting is the hardest part, please understand that. Its not easy starting the conversation and keeping up with it even harder.
Pick one thing, for me its food. I love me some food as the day is long. It feeds us, nourishes us and is us as a culture. Can you not see that tomatoes only look real and taste real when its warm out and an apple is now as big as a grapefruit so then they now can charge you more by pound. Your smarter then that to be fooled. When you mess with the beauty of nature it will bite back and that is truth. Calm your mind enough to know the true answer instead of grab grab grab.
In a village in Manhattan we talked, we drank, we debated and the common truth was that something is off. The French man with his long black lashes sat calm and observed, the Jewish Manhattan native passionately explained the real events of 9-11 and the Irish woman debated back fiercely and then there was me. It lite a fire in me (yet again) because if I don't start the conversation, will you?
Monday, January 24, 2011
*It is What You Make of It*
I am the first to admit that this transition has been very interesting and frustrating at times. Its change and as we become older change isn't the easiest to welcome. Doesn't mean I would do it differently, doesn't mean I would change anything. If I was 21 things would have been different and if I was 18 I would have ran here. Its a little secret I tucked far away in the back of my mind. I always wanted to come here, but financially and out of fear couldn't do it by myself.
I don't know what is important to you but leaving the nest of comfort and predictability is something that takes thought. 7 days of thought for me when I first said yes and I'm pretty sure I fought half of the process. Its harder to jump without a clear landing and your imagination flows like molasses the more one ages. Reality sets in and after relocating nothing seems familiar especially in the tossed salad that is Manhattan. Until you realize the grove of the city and start to listen to the heart beat that keeps this city alive. Its a rhythm that changes by area and also by neighborhood. You start to realize that your not that different and that a smile buys you gold to a certain few. We get this from our mother, her infectious ability to be warm and welcoming makes a sour puss smile and a pick pocket-er feel guilt. It is what you make it. If you want to be alone you will be left alone, if you want to be bothered you can welcome that too. This goes for Manhattan, this goes for Minnesota, its a formula for any new place. You got to feel it out and adjust.
I'm not the first to leave the nest and I wont be the last. Next time I will be better at it and if I can help someone adjust and feel less alone then we really aren't that different. We all want to fit in, we all want to feel like we can adjust. Its a process that doesn't happen overnight, but for today I am fine and tomorrow always brings a new day to do things differently and so goes the same for you.
I don't know what is important to you but leaving the nest of comfort and predictability is something that takes thought. 7 days of thought for me when I first said yes and I'm pretty sure I fought half of the process. Its harder to jump without a clear landing and your imagination flows like molasses the more one ages. Reality sets in and after relocating nothing seems familiar especially in the tossed salad that is Manhattan. Until you realize the grove of the city and start to listen to the heart beat that keeps this city alive. Its a rhythm that changes by area and also by neighborhood. You start to realize that your not that different and that a smile buys you gold to a certain few. We get this from our mother, her infectious ability to be warm and welcoming makes a sour puss smile and a pick pocket-er feel guilt. It is what you make it. If you want to be alone you will be left alone, if you want to be bothered you can welcome that too. This goes for Manhattan, this goes for Minnesota, its a formula for any new place. You got to feel it out and adjust.
I'm not the first to leave the nest and I wont be the last. Next time I will be better at it and if I can help someone adjust and feel less alone then we really aren't that different. We all want to fit in, we all want to feel like we can adjust. Its a process that doesn't happen overnight, but for today I am fine and tomorrow always brings a new day to do things differently and so goes the same for you.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I have a Secret for You...
I like food, who doesn't. I cook, I experiment and I like my taste buds to dance with new flavors and combinations. When Im sad I light a flame under a pan and start with the rarest olive oil (Archer Farms Target brand) and allow my knife to guide me through fresh vegetables, tart citrus and zesty herbs. I cook with heart given to me from my mother whom cooked for five of us. She is great a brillant woman who understands one thing which we will discuss later. My mother also whistled soft melodies as she stirred away at a boiling pot adding small dashes of salt and light grinds of pepper. I get a certain fulfillment and also underlining boredom from food. I like trying new, I keep my favorites but mostly I can taste a passionate chefs ability to create awesomeness.
Im hungry. All I have to do is exit my door and theres a billion choices right outside. Every flavor, every spice and every area of diversity has a small row of blocks dedicated to its authenticity. Its a food mecca waiting to give you a mouth orgasm, you just have to find it and keep coming back for more. Unfortunately Im under-impressed and highly confident that I can bring more love and excitement to most meals I have tried yet so far and then I came across the meal that changed everything.
Tikka Masala, the deal breaker. The heartbreaker, the meal that was so good I would have licked the bowl if I wasn't in public. My boyfriend and I didn't speak a word as I sopped the tomato gravy goodness, heavily spiced, perfectly seasoned traditional Indian dish down. It spoke to my soul while slowing my heart rate and making me weak in the knees. I fell in love and finally felt the passion from the chef. Allow me to also mention that the perfectly prepared, succulent (yes I said succulent) chicken was so good I unofficially rejoined the clean plate club. Living on an island of fakers and pretenders, this was a pleasant change and once again relit the flame under my ass that passionate food still does exist. My mother was in the kitchen and I could taste it. Possibly she cursed me because now I have this damned ability to taste a secret ingredient, a ingredient so rare even Donald fucking Trump couldn't put a price on because its something you just cant buy. Its the day old saying that "someone must have put there foot in this dish." I can taste it even after being a smoker even after tasting the spiciest of foods.
Its love. You can't buy it nor can one fake it. Its there or its not. Anyone can make a sandwich, and until you actually enjoy making that sandwich it will simply fall flat and the next sandwich maker will prevail. It speaks to you in ways that make you come back and then it slightly makes you shed a tear that someone still cares. Cares about food not to mass produce it but to love it (however they don't like you they just like the ingredient.). I will rant for days but I come from place that is now pissed because I taste it in everything now. Its love, shown to me from a woman that simply loves to fill the bellies of those she would take bullets for.
It's powerful and it makes people keep eating and it also allows people to justify a 400.00 dollar tab. We all need to eat and once we have tasted love its hard to compare and its hard to go back if its not there unless a lot of butter is involved and then we are just fucked.
So put down those Mcdonalds fries and grab a knife and start getting the ones you love with you in the kitchen. Magical mistakes happen and for any other reason it will make you turn the tube off and enjoy a meal you prepared..together.
Im hungry. All I have to do is exit my door and theres a billion choices right outside. Every flavor, every spice and every area of diversity has a small row of blocks dedicated to its authenticity. Its a food mecca waiting to give you a mouth orgasm, you just have to find it and keep coming back for more. Unfortunately Im under-impressed and highly confident that I can bring more love and excitement to most meals I have tried yet so far and then I came across the meal that changed everything.
Tikka Masala, the deal breaker. The heartbreaker, the meal that was so good I would have licked the bowl if I wasn't in public. My boyfriend and I didn't speak a word as I sopped the tomato gravy goodness, heavily spiced, perfectly seasoned traditional Indian dish down. It spoke to my soul while slowing my heart rate and making me weak in the knees. I fell in love and finally felt the passion from the chef. Allow me to also mention that the perfectly prepared, succulent (yes I said succulent) chicken was so good I unofficially rejoined the clean plate club. Living on an island of fakers and pretenders, this was a pleasant change and once again relit the flame under my ass that passionate food still does exist. My mother was in the kitchen and I could taste it. Possibly she cursed me because now I have this damned ability to taste a secret ingredient, a ingredient so rare even Donald fucking Trump couldn't put a price on because its something you just cant buy. Its the day old saying that "someone must have put there foot in this dish." I can taste it even after being a smoker even after tasting the spiciest of foods.
Its love. You can't buy it nor can one fake it. Its there or its not. Anyone can make a sandwich, and until you actually enjoy making that sandwich it will simply fall flat and the next sandwich maker will prevail. It speaks to you in ways that make you come back and then it slightly makes you shed a tear that someone still cares. Cares about food not to mass produce it but to love it (however they don't like you they just like the ingredient.). I will rant for days but I come from place that is now pissed because I taste it in everything now. Its love, shown to me from a woman that simply loves to fill the bellies of those she would take bullets for.
It's powerful and it makes people keep eating and it also allows people to justify a 400.00 dollar tab. We all need to eat and once we have tasted love its hard to compare and its hard to go back if its not there unless a lot of butter is involved and then we are just fucked.
So put down those Mcdonalds fries and grab a knife and start getting the ones you love with you in the kitchen. Magical mistakes happen and for any other reason it will make you turn the tube off and enjoy a meal you prepared..together.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Under 500 Square Feet.
Space [ spayss ]
- interval of time: a period or interval of time
- enough room: room to fit or accommodate something or somebody
- area set apart: an area set apart or available for use
I have never really devoted much thought to this concept until I crammed my life into a car and then tried to unload it into 500 square feet. I most certainly brought too many clothes and enough picture frames to start my own museum.
The truth is that I love my space and my concept of space has never really been tested. I have always had enough, I have never really wanted more. Everything had a place in my perfect organized mess. Perhaps spoiled by space, however we never grew up in a castle and we always shared rooms and didn't kill eachother. Living in Manhattan everything is small. Resturants are small, coffee shops are small. The cafe I sit in now only has 6 tables. Possibly by allowing less space it allows us to feel more together then appart. It shrinks how massive this island is or this world in general. Its intimate and forces you to acknowledge the person you brush up against, come in contact with or share a moment with. Lets get real, you can't possibly think you don't make even a small impression on those around you however big or small.
I do have one important question for you. If you packed your life into a car what would you bring? What could you spare to loss? What do you keep with you just because? And honestly when was the last time you wore that shirt? I ask this because it not only allows me to question how much space I lack but it also allows me to question value. The truth is that there was a lot I could stand parting with however I did use every inch of that car. You never know how much junk you have until you have to pack it into boxes or into a car. If you were wondering I took all the clothes I had and all the pictures I could find of the faces I would miss the most, oh yes and all my cooking supplies.
This 500 square feet is also being shared between 3 people. Sometimes I close the door to the bathroom and sit on the toilet just to have a moment to myself. Every night I take bathes like Im 3 years old so I can lock the door. Im also thinking about putting a chair in the closet. How the hell do parents do it? Before I had just enough and now Im adjusting to the beauty of Manhattan. Like all things you adapt and when I look at those 2 faces I share space with I realize I wouldn't have it any other way. I would much rather share it then be alone. I just use space better and I appreciate my time alone MUCH more.
Think about those you share space with, think about the value you put on things that can be bought. Get your car out and see if your life would fit into it, I dare you. Maybe this will force you to stop hoarding, clear some space and throw that ugly Hawaiian shirt away.
Monday, January 10, 2011
*The First 168 Hours*
Its been a week, the first 168 hours of the rest of my life. Lets rewind 168 hours to me white knuckling the steering wheel of a 2010 Altima. I was in the Lincoln Tunnel at the end of a 21 hour drive to a place I have only ever imagined. The tunnel stayed perfectly straight for an annoying amount of time. I was following a massive bus in the darkest tunnel and was soon spit out into afternoon daylight to fend for my life in the most traffic I have ever seen.
I had made it to Manhattan. This is when I said a well overdue prayer and followed directions that were wrong. My hands were shaking and I had saved one cigarette as the grand prize if I made it. Don't think I did this alone, I had a copilot and a great one at that. I had my big sister so if I felt like parking the car and running she would surely slap me and tell me to grow some balls. I couldn't have brought anyone better as I am the youngest and have to maintain a strong disposition at all times because thats what I do. I couldn't have her drive. I couldn't crawl into the fetal position I had to face this massively beautiful city on my own. If I didn't own it, no one would do it for me. Needless to say I smoked that one cigarette with shaking hands and tears swelling in my eyes. I never knew how brave I was until I drove a car into Manhattan.
The first day is odd here because your mind is still catching up and is still grasping the concept that this is not a vacation this is your new home. A home away from home. A place you need to make into a home as our apartment was unfurnished and small. I loved it even though I was delusional tired, oddly emotional and feeling like our apartment surely needed a punching bag. I was stressed as this city is on an island minus the sandy beaches and the drinks served in coconuts. This was in your face, fast, dirty, raw but mostly it was and is real.
This story is not going to end with how I got here or how I was crazy enough to drive to an unknown place. Its possibly a story about going for it while fighting your instinct to stay safe. Taking a jump, beginning a leap without a landing. I came here from the Midwest to conquer some unfortunate truths that underlie deep within. I was also given a rare opportunity to flip my world upside down, inside out and certainly backwards. I know I'm not alone in my experience and neither are you. Possibly from reading this you may join that painting class, talk to the cute guy that serves you coffee or dye your hair purple.
I live in the LES, born and raised in Minnesota and this is my story of luck, courage, bravery, and how sometimes I'm scared as f%^$ but wouldn't change a damn thing.
I had made it to Manhattan. This is when I said a well overdue prayer and followed directions that were wrong. My hands were shaking and I had saved one cigarette as the grand prize if I made it. Don't think I did this alone, I had a copilot and a great one at that. I had my big sister so if I felt like parking the car and running she would surely slap me and tell me to grow some balls. I couldn't have brought anyone better as I am the youngest and have to maintain a strong disposition at all times because thats what I do. I couldn't have her drive. I couldn't crawl into the fetal position I had to face this massively beautiful city on my own. If I didn't own it, no one would do it for me. Needless to say I smoked that one cigarette with shaking hands and tears swelling in my eyes. I never knew how brave I was until I drove a car into Manhattan.
The first day is odd here because your mind is still catching up and is still grasping the concept that this is not a vacation this is your new home. A home away from home. A place you need to make into a home as our apartment was unfurnished and small. I loved it even though I was delusional tired, oddly emotional and feeling like our apartment surely needed a punching bag. I was stressed as this city is on an island minus the sandy beaches and the drinks served in coconuts. This was in your face, fast, dirty, raw but mostly it was and is real.
This story is not going to end with how I got here or how I was crazy enough to drive to an unknown place. Its possibly a story about going for it while fighting your instinct to stay safe. Taking a jump, beginning a leap without a landing. I came here from the Midwest to conquer some unfortunate truths that underlie deep within. I was also given a rare opportunity to flip my world upside down, inside out and certainly backwards. I know I'm not alone in my experience and neither are you. Possibly from reading this you may join that painting class, talk to the cute guy that serves you coffee or dye your hair purple.
I live in the LES, born and raised in Minnesota and this is my story of luck, courage, bravery, and how sometimes I'm scared as f%^$ but wouldn't change a damn thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)